Death of a Relationship

Once again the failure of emotion connection has found me. It seems my ability to find the happy medium in a relationship is either badly stunted or my penchant for attracting women with tortured emotional bagage is still in full swing. My own emotional devastation over the last few years has circled the wagons in my psyche against assault, both the malevolent and benevolent varieties, and while the does not seem to be one of trust, I find myself uncertain about longevity. All of the things I have placed my trust in over the last few years have come crashing down on me, in spite of careful planning and consideration. In matters of the heart, the setbacks from a career standpoint have made it extraordinarily difficult to find my bearings, and clouded my view of the future.  It's as if I every time I find my true north, someone demagnetizes my compass.

The Futility of Warning

I have been spending an exorbitant amount of time the last few months consumed with future of America. The weight of truth lays heavy across my shoulders, and the yoke of responsibility harder still. The responsibility to stand with the courage of Leonidas against the gathering armies of tyranny accosts me at every turn. The oppression that threaten our very lives leers without fear.

The danger is clear. The freedoms we have enjoyed are in peril. Even our very lives hang in the balance. Maybe not today or tomorrow, or next month or even next year, but soon. The bell has tolled on our civilization, the United States as we know it is ending. History is clear, we are swiftly going the way of the Babylonians, Greeks, Romans, English: our days of dominance are at an end.

But how stem the tide? To fight back and salvage a remnant of our glory. The end may be near, but why go softly into the darkness? How does one make their voice heard in the mist of a generation that does not care? How do you awaken your peers to the danger if they have been told there is no danger? If they do not understand, or worse they embrace this darkness, can there be any awakening with out the oppression of tyranny? Is it possible to be Paul Revere if no one is looking for the lanterns?

The Smallness of Man

When is the moment of illumination? The day or moment when a person realizes how truly insignificant they are in the order of the cosmos? Is it the first time they fly, looking down through the clouds to see tiny cars on tiny roads, electric with the experience, only to be suddenly quieted by the realization that they too are tiny? Or perhaps watching a video of the earth from space, marveling at its beauty, only to be stilled by the inky blackness in which we float. Maybe when they look over the edge of a huge chasm, and human minuteness becomes readily apparent?

Most of us plod through life consumed with the enormity of it all, secure in the facade we call country, family, career, politics, education, normalcy. Although many do one day have any epiphany, that moment of illumination, when the wonder that is the universe brings the minutia into perspective...they are swiftly swallowed again by the cacophony of life.

Truthfully, most of us never stop to ponder the enormity of the tremendous blackness we call the universe. Our tiny lives have less voice in that void than the loudest plankton in a giant ocean. And yet... we matter. To our families, friends. To strangers who have never known us, we all have a strange affinity for our fellow man.

Why is that? Could it be anything less than the Divine that gives us breath? Could mere chance have brought life to this tiny rock, orbiting a tiny sun, in the tiny galaxy we call the Milky Way?